It hurts so bad
The pain is soo intense
and
won't go away
It makes me feel so sad.
and
alone.
I feel more alone than I have
in a long time.
I don't want to feel this
but
I don't have much choice.
Gotta work thru the grief.
The grief of
Why does it feel like this now?
After so much time?
And each time I try to move on...
you are there again.
Every time I exchange one
sad memory
for a better one
there you are reminding me of the past.
Wanting me, but not really.
Playing with my mind
my heart.
Twisting my emotions so I feel
like...
crying and hiding
and when I evaluate my emotions again
All I wanna tell you
is...
but I don't want to feel this anymore.
You ripped my heart apart.
And didn't care.
You allowed others to treat bad,
and didn't defend me.
You said you realized everything to late.
You're right.
I might be crying.
I might be confused.
I might be hurting
remembering you.
But at least I'm not
TO LATE!
I'm sooo done with you.
Now how do I get you out of my life?
Blocking you?
Moving?
Saying so?
No...
somehow you always come back.
So I guess I'm just gonna pray and hope
with all my heart.
That I can know 200% I am over you.
That I am done with your drama.
That you are gone.
I'm gonna pray and hope with all my heart...
that I can move on and open my heart to another.
Maybe I won't know till I open my heart to another.
So thats what I'm doing.
And as you watch me with other guys,
I hope you remember
all the good-all you'll miss.
That I really was the best thing that ever happened to you.
That I was the only one willing to put up with your crap,
when it really shouldn't have happened.
That I was the only one willing to give you all of my heart.
Fully. 100%.
Not because I didn't haved options.
Not because I was desperate.
Not because I needed you.
But because I chose you.
I loved you.
And I wanted you.
and most of all I truly hope you
never forget...
you are to late.
And for myself, away from all the heartache
I'm not gonna forget...
I gave my all
when
I am worth so much more.
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